Monthly Archives: November 2013

Four Stages of Sexuality



OSHO SAYS, SEX HAS FOUR STAGES; those stages have to be understood. Only at the fourth stage does sex become the Golden Flower. Not to understand those four stages is dangerous, and the whole tradition has been keeping you unaware of those four stages.

The first stage is autosexual.
When the child is born he is a narcissist. He loves his body tremendously, and it is beautiful; he knows only HIS body. Just sucking his own thumb, and he is in such euphoria. You see the child sucking his own thumb — what euphoria is on his face, just playing with his own body, trying to take his toe into his mouth, making a circle of the energy. When the child takes his toe into the mouth a circle is created and the energy starts moving in a circle. The light circulates naturally in the child and he enjoys, because when the light circulates there is great joy inside.

The child plays with his own sexual organs not knowing they are sexual organs. He has not yet been conditioned; he knows his body as one whole. And certainly, the sexual organs are the most sensitive part of his body. He utterly enjoys touching them, playing with them.

And here is where the society, the poisonous society, enters into the psyche of the child: “Don’t touch!” ‘Don’t’ is the first dirty, four-letter word. And out of this one four-letter word, then many more come: can’t, won’t — these are all four-letter words. Once the child is told “Don’t!” and the angry parent, mother or father, and those eyes… And the child’s hand is taken away from his genital organs, which are naturally very enjoyable. He really enjoys it, and he is not being sexual or anything. It is just the most sensitive part of his body, the most alive part of his body, that’s all.

But our conditioned minds…. He is touching a sexual organ; that is bad, we take his hand away. We create guilt in the child.

Now we have started destroying his natural sexuality. Now we have started poisoning the original source of his joy, of his being. Now we are creating hypocrisy in him; he will become a diplomat. When the parents are there he will not play with his sexual organs. Now the first lie has entered; he cannot be true. Now he knows that if he is true to himself, if he respects himself, if he respects his own joy, if he respects his own instinct, then the parents are angry. And he is helpless against them, he is dependent on them, his survival is with them. If they renounce him, he will be dead; so the question is of choosing whether you want to live. The condition is that if you want to live you have to be against yourself, and the child has to yield.

The child is the most exploited phenomenon in the world. No other class has been so exploited as the child. He cannot do anything: he cannot make unions to fight with the parents, he cannot go to the court, he cannot go to the government. He has no way to protect himself against the parental attack.

And when the parents stop him, they are stopping him because of their own conditioning; their parents had done the same to them. They are very much embarrassed by the child’s touching his own genital organs and playing with them, and so unashamedly.

Now the child knows nothing of shame, he is innocent. The “don’t” has entered; the energy recoils. The first trauma has happened. Now the child will never be able to accept his sexuality naturally, joyously. Repression has happened and the child is divided in two; his body is no more whole. Some part of the body is not acceptable, some part of the body is ugly, some part of the body is unworthy to be part of his body; he rejects it. Deep down in his psychology he starts castrating himself, and the energy recoils. Energy will not be flowing as naturally as it used to flow before this “don’t” happened.

And the natural outcome of this stupidity that has been perpetually practiced on humanity is that first the child is no more a natural being, hypocrisy has entered. He has to hide something from the parents or he has to feel guilty.

This is the autosexual state: many people remain stuck there. That’s why so much masturbation continues all over the world. It is a natural state. It would have passed on its own, it was a growing phase, but the parents disturbed the energy’s growing phase.

The child becomes stuck: he wants to play with his genital organs and he cannot. Repressing, repressing, one day it is too much and he is possessed by the sexual energy. And once he has started masturbating, it may become a habit, a mechanical habit, and then he will never move to the second stage.

And the people who are responsible are the parents, the priest, the politicians — the whole social mind that has existed up to now.

Now this man may remain stuck at this stage, which is very childish. He will never attain to full grown-up sexuality. He will never come to know the blissfulness that can come only to a grown-up sexual being. And the irony is that these are the same people who condemn masturbation and make much fuss about it. And they make such statements which are very dangerous: they have been telling people that if you masturbate you will go blind, if you masturbate you will become a zombie, if you masturbate you will never be intelligent, you will remain stupid. Now all the scientific findings are agreed upon one point: that masturbation never harms anybody. But these suggestions harm. Now this is an absolute agreement; there are no two opinions about it. All the psychological researches agree that masturbation never harms anybody, it is a natural outlet of energy. But these ideas — that you will go blind — may make it dangerous to your eyes, because again and again you will think that you will go blind, that you will go blind, that you will go blind…. So many people are using glasses, and the reason may not be in the eyes; the reason may be just somewhere else. So many millions of people are stupid, and the reason may not be that they are stupid — because no child is born stupid, all children are born intelligent. The reason may be somewhere else: in these techniques. You will remain ill, you will lose self-confidence. And so many people are afraid, trembling continuously, have no trust, no self-confidence, are continuously afraid, because they know what they have been doing.

Now thousands of letters come to me: “We are caught up in this trap; how can we come out of it?”

And let me repeat: masturbation has never harmed anybody. But the moment when a person masturbates is a very sensitive and delicate moment; his whole being is open and flowing. In that moment if some suggestion is dropped in his mind — and he himself will drop the suggestion, “Now what if I go mad? if I go blind? if I remain always stupid?” — these constant autohypnotic suggestions are the cause of a thousand and one illnesses, of a thousand and one psychological problems, perversions.

Who is responsible for this?

And people who come to me come with all these perversions. And I try to help them, and many are helped and many grow beyond it. But the society thinks I am teaching people some perversions. This is just unbelievable. I am helping you to grow beyond your perversions; the society has given you perversions. You live in a perverted society!

If the child is allowed the natural phase of autosexuality, he moves on his own to the second phase, the homosexual — but very few people move to the second phase. The majority remain with the first phase. Even while making love to a woman or a man you may not be doing anything else but just a mutual masturbation. Because very few people attain to orgasmic states, very few people come to the glimpses that are bound to be there if your sexuality is mature. Very few people come to know about God through their lovemaking, which is a natural phenomenon. In lovemaking, meditation happens naturally.

But it doesn’t happen, and the reason is that millions, the majority, are stuck at the first stage. Even if they have got married and they have children, their lovemaking is not more than mutual masturbation. It is not real lovemaking.

Lovemaking is an art, a great art; it needs great sensitivity, needs great awareness, meditativeness, it needs maturity.

THE SECOND PHASE is homosexual.
Few people move to the second phase; it is a natural phase. The child loves his body. If the child is a boy, he loves a boy’s body, his body. To jump to a woman’s body, to a girl’s body, would be too much of a big gap. Naturally, first he moves in love with other boys; or if the child is a girl, the first natural instinct is to love other girls because they have the same kind of body, the same kind of being. She can understand the girls better than the boys; boys are a world apart.

The homosexual phase is a natural phase. There society helps people to remain stuck again, because it creates barriers between man and woman, girls and boys. If those barriers are not there, then soon the homosexual phase fades away; the interest starts happening in the heterosex, the other sex. But for that, society does not give chances — a great China Wall exists between the boy and the girl. In the schools they have to sit apart or they have to be educated separately. In the colleges they have to live in separate hostels. Their meeting, their being together, is not accepted.

That is one of the problems that is happening to me and to my people in this so-called educated city. If this city is educated, then I wonder what city can be called uneducated. The only problem to the Poonaites is that my people are moving together, man, woman. It should be a natural phenomenon; people should be happy that men and women are moving together, creating a love-vibe around. But they have never moved together; they start feeling disturbed. They start feeling jealous, they start feeling angry, because who are these people to enjoy what has not been given to them? If it has not been their joy they will not allow anybody else to have it either. But they will not say it that way. They will talk great philosophy. They will hide their jealousies behind great words of morality, of religion, of culture — and they don’t know anything of morality or religion or culture, because all culture, all religion, all morality has to be based on love. If it is not based on love it is not there at all. It is just a game, a pseudo-game that you go on playing on the surface. Deep down you remain just the opposite of it.

Homosexuality is perpetuated by the society and condemned by the same society. These strategies have to be understood. The same society condemns the homosexual, calls him perverted, criminal. There are still countries where homosexuality is punished, you can be sent to jail for ten years. There have been countries where a homosexual could have been sentenced to death! And it is the same society that creates it!

You divide man and woman apart so much, you create watertight compartments. And when the man wants to love he cannot find the woman, and the woman wants to love and she cannot find a man. Then, whatsoever is available… she starts falling in love with a woman, he starts falling in love with a man. And it is not satisfying either, but it is better than nothing. Nature has to find its way. If you don’t allow the natural course, it will find some roundabout way. Otherwise homosexuality is a natural phase; it passes by itself.

AND THE THIRD phase is heterosexual.
When a man is really out of autosex, homosex, then he is capable and mature to fall in love with a woman — which is a totally different world, a different chemistry, a different psychology, a different spirituality. Then he is able to play with this different world, this different organism. They are poles apart, but when they come close — and there are moments when they are really close and overlapping — first glimpses, lightning glimpses of samadhi are attained.

Because it does not happen, many people think that I am just talking something like poetry. It is not poetry! I am not talking fiction, I am talking reality. What I am saying is an existential phenomenon, but the need is that the man and the woman must be mature. They must have gone beyond the first two stages; only then can this happen. And very rarely, very rarely, are there people who are mature men and mature women. So nothing happens; they make love, but that love is only superficial. Deep down they are autosexual, or, at the most, homosexual.

To love a woman or to love a man, a new kind of being is needed which can accept the polar opposite. And only with the polar opposite — just as with negative and positive electricity meeting, electricity is born, just like that — when life electricities meet, man and woman, yin and yang, Shiva and Shakti, when that meeting happens, that merger, that oblivion, that drunkenness, they have disappeared as separate entities, separate egos. They are no longer separately there, therefore they are throbbing as one, two bodies in one soul. That is the first experience of no-mind, no-ego, no-time, and that is the first experience of samadhi.

Once this has been experienced, then a desire arises: how to attain this samadhi so that it can become a natural state of affairs and you need not depend on a woman, you need not depend on a man? — because dependence brings slavery. Only out of the experience of heterosexual orgasm does a person start searching for ways, means, and methods — Yoga, Tantra, Tao — so that he can attain the same state on his own or on her own.

And yes, it can be attained, because deep inside each man is a man and a woman — half comes from his father, half comes from his mother — and each woman is half woman, half man. So once you have known it happening through the outside woman, you will have the first glimpse that it can happen within too. The outer woman simply triggered it, the outer man simply acted as a catalytic agent; now you start meditating.

THEN THE FOURTH phase, the ultimate phase comes, which is brahmacharya, which is real celibacy; not the celibacy of the monks — that is not celibacy at all — but the celibacy of the Buddhas. It is brahmacharya. Sex has disappeared; you don’t need the outer woman, you don’t need the outer man. Now your inner man and woman have fallen in a togetherness, and this togetherness is not momentary. This is real marriage; you are welded together. Now to be orgasmic is your natural state. A Buddha lives in orgasm continuously; he breathes in and out in orgasm.

These are the four stages of sex.

My effort here is to take you to the fourth, but people who come to me come to me corrupted, crippled by the society, poisoned by the society. I have to take much poison out of them. I have to take much pus out of their beings. And only if they are courageous enough to be with me long enough, ready to risk, does this transformation become possible.

And the people who live on the outside and just hear rumors about what is happening here are bound to have stupid notions — that indulgence is happening, that orgies are happening, that violence is happening. It is as if in a surgery you come to know that that surgeon is very dangerous because he cuts people’s parts, he opens their stomachs, much blood comes out — “That doctor is very dangerous; never go to him!”

I am a physician; or better, I am a surgeon. And this place is a place for spiritual surgery. It is an alchemical experiment in transforming your energies.

The ordinary masses cannot understand it, hence so much misunderstanding is bound to remain about me. It will go slowly, slowly; it may take centuries.

And the people who have so much repressed sexuality in their beings can’t have understanding of what is happening here. Their repression makes their eyes blind; they start projecting their ideas.

For example, a man who has repressed all his sexuality for his whole life will go mad seeing a naked woman, because it will be like an explosion in his being. But a man who has not repressed any sexuality will not even take any note of seeing a naked woman; or he may simply think, “What a beautiful body!” — and that is that. He does not want to grab it, he does not want to possess it. Just as you look at a roseflower: the rose flower is naked, you don’t put clothes on the rose flower. You don’t put clothes on the animals.

There are a few ladies in England who try to put clothes on their dogs, because of “naked” dogs. Now these old ladies must be dirty! What kind of mind is this?

So if in some of my groups nudity happens — which is a natural part of the group process — and some people, sly people, can sometimes take photographs with small, automatic cameras, and then those pictures are published all over the world and it is thought that orgies are happening here… Something totally different is happening here.

Twenty nuns were on a pilgrimage to Lourdes when their plane crashed. They all, of course, went to heaven where they were met by Saint Peter and the recording angel.
“Welcome ladies,” he said. “Just a pure formality: will all those who are virgins take one step forward.” There was an embarrassed silence as only nineteen stepped forward.
The recording angel put down his pen, turned to Peter and said, “Excuse me, but what shall we do with the deaf one?”

Whom do you think you are deceiving with your repressions? Your repressions are bound to take revenge on you from the back door.

The whole hypocrisy can disappear from the world if sex is accepted naturally. Ninety-nine percent of hypocrisy is dependent on sex-repression.

Now, religions go on giving you double-binds. They first say, “Be authentic, be true,” and all that they teach makes you inauthentic, untrue, hypocrites. This is a double-bind. They say, “Believe in truth, believe in God”; now this is a double-bind. Belief simply means you don’t know and still you are believing; it is untrue. If one has to be true, one has to seek and search and only then believe. But they say, “First believe in God, and then you will be able to find Him.” To begin with belief is to begin with a lie.

And God is truth, and you begin in lies. Life is truth, and you begin in hypocrisy. If you go on missing, it is no wonder. You are bound to miss all joy.


  1. OSHO : The Secret of Secrets, Volume 2, Chapter 15
  2. On Sex and Indulgence

See Also:

  1. Book: From Sex to Superconsciousness — OSHO.
  2. Kamasutra: Sex Matters
  3. The Transmutation of Sexual Energy
  4. Sex or Food: The Body Remembers it All!

OSHO’s Views on J Krishnamurti


krishnamurti and Osho

When Jiddu Krishnamurti died, Osho expressed his thoughts on him as a being and his work.  Its relevance, its longevity and its usefulness.  It is worth reading.  The discussion has been called “Death of the mystic, J. Krishnamurti”.

J. Krishnamurti died last Monday, In Ojai, California. In the past you have spoken of him as another enlightened being. Would you please comment on his death?

The death of an enlightened being like J. Krishnamurti is nothing to be sad about, it is something to be celebrated with songs and dances. It is a moment of rejoicing.

His death is not a death. He knows his immortality. His death is only the death of the body. But J. Krishnamurti will go on living in the universal consciousness, forever and forever.

Just three days before J. Krishnamurti died, one of my friends was with him; and he reported to me that his words to him were very strange. Krishnamurti was very sad and he simply said one thing: “I have wasted my life. People were listening to me as if I am an entertainment.”

The mystic is a revolution; he is not entertainment.

If you hear him, if you allow him, if you open your doors to him, he is pure fire. He will burn all that is rubbish in you, all that is old in you, and he will purify you into a new human being. It is risky to allow fire into your being—rather than opening the doors, you immediately close all the doors.

But entertainment is another thing. It does not change you. It does not make you more conscious; on the contrary, it helps you to remain unconscious for two, three hours, so that you can forget all your worries, concerns, anxieties—so that you can get lost in the entertainment. You can note it: as man has passed through the centuries, he has managed to create more and more entertainments, because he needs more and more to be unconscious. He is afraid of being conscious, because being conscious means to go through a metamorphosis.

I was more shocked by the news than by the death. A man like J. Krishnamurti dies, and the papers don’t have space to devote to that man who for ninety years continuously has been helping humanity to be more intelligent, to be more mature. Nobody has worked so hard and so long. Just a small news article, unnoticeable—and if a politician sneezes it makes headlines.

What is your connection with Krishnamurti?

It is a real mystery. I have loved him since I have known him, and he has been very loving towards me. But we have never met; hence the relationship, the connection is something beyond words. We have not seen each other ever, but yet…perhaps we have been the two persons closest to each other in the whole world. We had a tremendous communion that needs no language, that need not be of physical presence….

You are asking me about my connection with him. It was the deepest possible connection—which needs no physical contact, which needs no linguistic communication. Not only that, once in a while I used to criticize him, he used to criticize me, and we enjoyed each other’s criticism—knowing perfectly well that the other does not mean it. Now that he is dead, I will miss him because I will not be able to criticize him; it won’t be right. It was such a joy to criticize him. He was the most intelligent man of this century, but he was not understood by people.

He has died, and it seems the world goes on its way without even looking back for a single moment that the most intelligent man is no longer there. It will be difficult to find that sharpness and that intelligence again in centuries. But people are such sleep walkers, they have not taken much note. In newspapers, just in small corners where nobody reads, his death is declared. And it seems that a ninety-year-old man who has been continuously speaking for almost seventy years, moving around the world, trying to help people to get unconditioned, trying to help people to become free—nobody seems even to pay a tribute to the man who has worked the hardest in the whole of history for man’s freedom, for man’s dignity.

I don’t feel sorry for his death. His death is beautiful; he has attained all that life is capable to give. But I certainly feel sorry for the whole world. It goes on missing its greatest flights of consciousnesses, its highest peaks, its brightest stars. It is too much concerned with trivia.

I feel such a deep affinity with Krishnamurti that even to talk of connection is not right; connection is possible only between two things which are separate. I feel almost a oneness with him. In spite of all his criticisms, in spite of all my criticisms—which were just joking with the old man, provoking the old man…and he was very easily provoked….

Krishnamurti’s teaching is beautiful, but too serious. And my experience and feeling is that his seventy years went to waste because he was serious. So only people who were long-faced and miserable and serious types collected around him; he was a collector of corpses, and as he became older, those corpses also became older.

I know people who have been listening to him for almost their whole lives; they are as old as he himself was. They are still alive. I know one woman who is ninety-five, and I know many other people. One thing I have seen in all of them, which is common, is that they are too serious.

Life needs a little playfulness, a little humor, a little laughter.

Only on that point am I in absolute disagreement with him; otherwise, he was a genius. He has penetrated as deeply as possible into every dimension of man’s spirituality, but it is all like a desert, tiring. I would like you back in the garden of Eden, innocent, not serious, but like small children playing. This whole existence is playful. This whole existence is full of humor; you just need the sense of humor and you will be surprised….
Existence is hilarious. Everything is in a dancing mood, you just have to be in the same mood to understand it.

I am not sorry that J. Krishnamurti is dead; there was nothing more for him to attain. I am sorry that his teaching did not reach the human heart because it was too dry, juiceless, with no humor, no laughter.
But you will be surprised to know—whatever he was saying was against religions, was against politics, was against the status quo, was against the whole past, yet nobody was condemning him for the simple reason that he was ineffective. There was no reason to take note of him….

Krishnamurti failed because he could not touch the human heart; he could only reach the human head. The heart needs some different approaches. This is where I have differed with him all my life: unless the human heart is reached, you can go on repeating parrot-like, beautiful words—they don’t mean anything. Whatever Krishnamurti was saying is true, but he could not manage to relate it to your heart. In other words, what I am saying is that J. Krishnamurti was a great philosopher but he could not become a master. He could not help people, prepare people for a new life, a new orientation.

But still I love him, because amongst the philosophers he comes the closest to the mystic way of life. He himself avoided the mystic way, bypassed it, and that is the reason for his failure. But he is the only one amongst the modern contemporary thinkers who comes very close, almost on the boundary line of mysticism, and stops there. Perhaps he’s afraid that if he talks about mysticism people will start falling into old patterns, old traditions, old philosophies of mysticism. That fear prevents him from entering. But that fear also prevents other people from entering into the mysteries of life….

I have met thousands of Krishnamurti people—because anybody who has been interested in Krishnamurti sooner or later is bound to find his way towards me, because where Krishnamurti leaves them, I can take their hand and lead them into the innermost shrine of truth. You can say my connection with Krishnamurti is that Krishnamurti has prepared the ground for me. He has prepared people intellectually for me; now it is my work to take those people deeper than intellect, to the heart; and deeper than the heart, to the being.

Our work is one. Krishnamurti is dead, but his work will not be dead until I am dead. His work will continue.

What Osho said about J Krishnamurti and his work on his death.