Monthly Archives: January 2009

What has captured our Imagination?

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This is what our imagination is filled with, today!

In fact if we look closely then it is not even all those balloons which define our imagination. It is limited to mostly the Right Part of the picture i.e. Sex, Career, Movies, Music, World Tours, Luxury, Comfort etc. Mostly it is the right part of the picture we think about, we dream about, we aspire to achieve, we appreciate, is our goal and we recognize ourselves with!

When in groups or even alone we discuss or think about our Career, what we want to become in our lives, how we are progressing towards our career goal, what the current trends are, how easily we can grow in the career we are aspiring to make for ourselves etc. OR we discuss various new Movies currently in market, which new movies are coming, what is new in any new movie etc. OR  Music OR Sex OR World Tours OR Hotels OR Different Places which can be visited and this list is endless.

Parallely we also keep thinking Partially about balloons on the Left Part of the picture. What people around me think about me? Whether people around me Trust me or not? How do I look to my comrades? Am I recognized among people around me or not? Whether people in my close relationships evaluate me rightly or not? etc. If we feel that other person with whom we are spending time is not of our kind then we start feeling repulsion and find out some other person to spend time with. If we feel that a person with whom we have spent a long time and shared a good friendship has got some doubts in his mind for us then we try to convince him that things are not the way he is taking them or something similar and try to get the relationship back to normal. Even if we do not try to get the relationship back to normal through our actions but our expectation is always that the things become normal. When we confront a person with whom we feel that he doesn’t think good about us then this thing pricks us. All these things keep happening with all of us whether we pay attention to them or not.

In fact if we see closely then we find that the Desires/Expectations/Questions related to the balloons on the Left Side of the picture are Dominating and are Ever Actively Present/Working.

When we feel that we are not being rightly evaluated by people around  us or our intention is under doubt by people around us then our complete attention remains on the those people only. We always keep on evaluating ourselves and themselves and things which would have made them to wrongly evaluate us and we are always in the process to prove ourselves right in our eyes or we sometimes even fight with them to prove them wrong! We do not even enjoy things on the right side of the picture when we are this kind of situation. We do not enjoy music, movies, luxury, comfort and even we find ourselves unable to concentrate on things related to our career.  If we feel that there are no problems in the desires related to the Left Part of the picture then we are able to enjoy things on the right part without any problem. In fact in this case even if we do not have much of things on the Right Side of the picture then it is fine, but if there are problems in the desires/expectations related to the Left Part of the picture then we generally try to fill that void with the things on the Right Side of the picture and it becomes essential for us to have things on the Right Side to fill that void.

When our desires/expectations related to Left Side are being fulfilled we do not even come to know and when they are not being fulfilled we find some substitute for them from the Right Side, which doesn’t substitute it for long and problem persists!

If we observe closely then generally we try to ensure things related to Left Part of the picture with the Right Part of it. We feel that with good career, comfort, luxury, position, power, beauty etc. we will start looking good to people around us, we will get respect, we will get recognition, our relationships with people will improve and many other things. Our possessions become our basis of Respect and Trust with people around us. If we feel lack of possessions then we feel that we lack value in society and come under pressure. If we have a lot of possessions and a lot of value in the society and we find that it is going to shake then we get terrified due to fear of loosing Respect and Trust of people around. I have seen many examples when people did suicide when they got 2nd rank in exam because they have been getting 1st since ages and there are many more examples like this.

If we notice then the desires which are on the Left Side of the picture are Continuous within us with respect to Time. The basic desire behind the questions on the Left Side of the picture is of willingness to live with Trust and Respect. We want to live with Trust and Respect continuously. This willingness to live with Trust and Respect is there within us Continuously and is Ever Actively Present. There is never a time when I do not expect people around me to Trust me and there is never a time when I do not expect people around me to Rightly Evaluate me or Respect me!

Due to lack of understanding of Trust, Respect and Happiness we try to fulfill desires on the Left Side with the Right Part of the picture and it doesn’t fulfill it.

Generally we recognize ourselves with “something outside us”. We recognize ourselves with our Position, Power, Money, Beauty, Intellect and many more things. When I recognize myself with something like this then I expect others around me to look at me the way I look at myself. If I feel that I am beautiful then I expect others around me to recognize this fact that I am beautiful and to look up at me, similarly if I am positionful, powerful, moneyful or even if I feel that I am intellectually mature then I expect others around me to recognize me as a positionful, powerful, moneyful or an intellectually mature person. When they do it I feel Respected, I feel good with them, I feel related with them. When they do not do it then I feel disrespected, I feel bad, I feel a kind of repulsion/opposition with them.

When there is mismatch in My Perception towards Myself and Others Perception towards Myself then it hurts me and in Most of the cases we spend our energies to change others perception towards us, either by hook or by crook or even by violence! This is where we all or in fact entire world is!

In reality what need to be changed is our own perception towards ourselves. It is lack of understanding of ourselves about ourselves is the root cause of all our problems.

To understand Trust, Respect, Happiness etc. we need Knowledge.

Knowledge includes, complete understanding related to,
Self,
Family,
Society,
Nature.

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Beauty and the Beast …

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So what makes a Beauty, to like a Beast?

Here, I will not make distinction of Beauty and Beast on the basis of gender. Either of a Boy or a Girl can be a Beauty or a Beast.

So question is, what makes a Beauty to like a Beast? Here this notion of Liking need to be analyzed. Generally it is seen that this liking  is governed by two factors. Liking on the basis of Bodily Aspects, Liking on the basis of Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior towards us. Our liking towards a particular person might be on the basis of first or second or both the factors together!

Generally it is found that Liking on the basis of second factor i.e. Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior is Dominating. This can be seen in several examples, situations. Following are some.

1. When we find Bodily Aspects of Beauty as per our Expectations then we get Attracted towards it but when we find that Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of that Beauty are not as per our Expectations then we start feeling Repulsion and the beauty of that Beauty on the basis of Bodily Aspects remains no longer Beautiful or Attractive to  us. In fact if we find that Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of Beauty are bad as per our notions of bad, then we start seeing a beast in that Beauty!

2. We begin with Attraction or Liking on the basis of Bodily Aspects of Beauty. When we spend some time with Beauty and find its Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior as per our Expectations then our Attention start shifting from Bodily Aspects to Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior. Liking because of second factor start Dominating. We start feeling good in the company of Beauty. Now the notions of beauty are changed. We start seeing beauty or start liking on the basis of Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior towards us, more than Bodily Aspects.

3. If we spend some time with a person who is not beautiful as per our notions of beauty of Bodily Aspects, but we find that Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of that person are as per our notions of good or as per our Expectations, then we start seeing beauty in that person. This kind of beauty even overpasses the beastliness of the Bodily Aspects. Here also we see that second factor i.e. Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of the person towards us Dominate over Bodily Aspects.

Here we see that second factor i.e. Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of other person towards us gives us more happiness for more time than the first factor i.e. Bodily Aspects. We see that it is happening, but why it is happening?

In case of Humans, Feeling Component is Dominant and is Ever Actively Working (मनुष्य में भाव पक्ष प्रधान रहता है, तथा नित्य प्रभावी रहता है). A human being wants Unconditional Acceptance from other other person. We can notice that this Expectation of Unconditional Acceptance at least from  people whom we consider close to us, is Ever Actively Present. Whenever we feel that some doubt has come in the mind of person who is close to me then it is not tolerable to me. Unconditional Acceptance means, Unconditional Trust and Unconditional Respect. We expect other person to Trust us Unconditionally, to Respect us Unconditionally i.e. to Evaluate us Rightly always. When we see or feel that these conditions are being satisfied by other person i.e. when we see that other person has started Trusting  us Unconditionally, other person feels good about us, other person has good thoughts, other person understands us and when we start getting assurance that other person will keep on Trusting us Unconditionally, will keep on Evaluating us Rightly Always then it makes us feel really good, it makes us very Happy. We start undermining most of other aspects like cast, creed, religion, bodily aspects and many others!

Mostly in current scenario it happens that we undermine Feeling Component over Bodily Aspects and hastily indulge into commitments. But Feeling Component is Naturally Dominant. One who gave more priority to Bodily Aspects in past once is Satisfied by it, then he starts looking for satisfaction of Feeling Component i.e. Unconditional Trust and Respect. When this Feeling Component is not satisfied then he start seeing a Beast in the Beauty and it leads to several problems in relationships thereafter. We already see many examples of such things almost daily in our society like divorces, court cases, quarrels and even murders!

Generally we feel that by the satisfaction of Bodily Aspects we will be able to ensure Satisfaction of Feeling Component. In most of the cases we are not even aware of this Feeling Component, which is in reality, Dominant !

In some cases even if we are aware of existence Feeling Component, we lack clarity into it so we expect other person to Accept us Unconditionally in our own style or our own way and ultimately we start putting conditions on other person knowingly or unknowingly with which other person start feeling violated and problem persists.

So it is ultimately the Lack of Understanding which is the problem.

Lack of Understanding of Whom is causing the problem? Lack of Understanding “in” Ourselves!

Lack of Understanding of What is causing the problem ? Lack of Understanding “of” Ourselves!

So it is Lack of Understanding of a Human of Him Himself is causing the problem and not the lack of understanding of a Human of Other Human Being.

To understand Trust, Respect, Happiness, Relationships etc. we need Knowledge.

Knowledge includes, understanding related to:-
Self
Family
Society
Nature.

What I saw in Golconda?

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Yes I am talking about the Golconda fort at Hyderabad. This post is not about history or any good scenery at Golconda, but something else.

I visited Golconda fort twice. This post is about the description of the difference between those two visits.

First visit to Golconda fort:-

I was in first year when I went to Golconda fort, for the first time. I went there with my parents. As soon as we entered the place we found several “Guides” pursing us to hire them to visit the fort. We asked a few of them the cost and found it very high so we did not hire them. We entered the fort, went through the entirety of it and came out.

We enjoyed the trip.

Second visit to Golconda fort:-

Second time I went to the fort with my Mama jee and Mausi jee. Same thing happened the second time, several “Guides” started pursuing us to hire them to visit the fort. I told to my Mama jee and Mausi jee “These guides demand so much, do not hire them”. They said, “Its good to hire a guide while seeing any historical place” and they were ready to pay Guide the money which he was ready for, after some bargain. We entered the fort with a Guide. He started explaining us each and everything about the fort. Each and every “What”, “Why” and “How” he explained us about the fort. He explained why the entrance of the fort is curved so that the enemy does not attack with full momentum. Why there is a wall in front of entrance, what happens when we clap at the dome after entrance, why the walls are constructed the way they are constructed, why is everything the way it is, what happens when you speak near a wall in one of the room and you hear the sound through wall at the other end and many many more things.Ultimately we came out of the fort in 2 hours.

The trip was amazing!

Difference between first and second visit:-

The thing which I saw in the first time was just some “old walls”, “good scenery”, “how things used to be in old times”.

The thing which I saw in the second time was of course those “old walls”, “good scenery”, “how things used to be in old times” but in addition “a amazing work of civil engineering”, “how well constructed the fort is”, “how well organized the things were”, “how much intellectual and physical effort has been put up in the construction of the fort”, “how they used to consider various aspects like wars, strength of buildings, resource utilization, etc.”, “how they used to communicate and how those buildings used to help them to communicate”, “why the walls are constructed the way they are constructed” and many many many more things.

In the first time I could not appreciate it much. In second trip I could not stop myself appreciating it for many many days and even till now.

After my first visit I never used to suggest anybody to visit Golconda fort, I used to feel that there are better places to visit. After second trip I always take people to Golconda.

Crux of this post:-

Here I took Golconda just as an example. There may be many more things in Golconda to appreciate which I might have missed. Discussing Golconda is not the issue for me to discuss in this post!Issue is something else.

I was able to appreciate Golconda after my second trip when I understood “What”, “Why” and “How” behind various things. I was amazed to “see” the beauty of Golconda. In the first time I saw just what I could see through my eyes. In the second time I saw things which I could not “see” just through my eyes. I saw something more than what I could see through eyes and that made me to appreciate the real beauty.

This thing applies to our daily life also. We miss several things, we do not appreciate a several things, we do not get amazed to see several things because we do not know “What”, “Why” and “How” behind them. When we begin to understand or “see” “What”, “Why” and “How” about a particular thing we begin to appreciate it.

Just as an example, it really amazes me when “I see” that a human being wants to live with Happiness. This need of Happiness in a human being is always present with the same intensity and it never decreases with time. It is inexhaustible. It is ever actively present. A human being wants Certainty, Consistency and Continuity of Happiness. A human being want to live with feeling of Trust and Respect in Relationships and these things are same for every human being without any exception. All the works of a human being are happening to ensure the same purpose i.e. Happiness. This makes me to appreciate a human being. Similarly when I see/understand some more things/realities about an animal I begin to appreciate an animal. Similarly a Tree, a Stone. How well organized all the things are! How mutually-fulfilling entire nature is!

When we do not know “What”, “Why” and “How” about various things, what we see is what is there is front of our eyes. When we begin to understand “What”, “Why” and “How” behind various things we begin to see more than what our eyes can see and that makes us appreciate various things, that makes us feel really good about the well organization of various things, that brings more certainty in our feeling towards various things, which ultimately leads towards continuous happiness.

To understand, appreciate various things and feel Happy we need, Knowledge.

Knowledge includes, understanding related to:-
Self
Family

Society
Nature.

What we Appreciate and What we Want?

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What do we appreciate? We appreciate several things. We appreciate a good degree, a good house, money, power, position, beauty and many more things. We aspire to get, whatever we appreciate and we feel good when we get it. It boosts our confidence, gives us happiness when we get what we appreciate.

The things which we appreciate contribute to our ambitions, goals. We even spend our entire lives for it.

What we really want? We want continuous Happiness. We want Certainty, Consistency and Continuity of Happiness. This thing can be verified by anybody.

Generally we feel that by the thing which we appreciate (beauty, power, position, money etc) we will get what we really want (Continuous Happiness), that’s why we appreciate it.

Generally a human being wants/desires for more than what he appreciates. A human being wants

Happiness + Relationships + Prosperity + Continuity of these 3.

We are generally not aware of what exactly we want so our scope of things which we appreciate is limited. This thing can be seen with a very small example. When our relationships are not going well, when there are contradictions within, when there are tensions in life in spite of having things what we appreciate, then we do not go to a beautiful person, we do not go to a powerful person, we do not go to a positionful person, but we go to a person with whom we have assurance that, that person will understand my problem, will be able to appreciate my problem and will also be able to give me solution to my problem. We go to a Knowledgeful person.

So, is what we appreciate is going to give us what we really want? If NO, then what is?

It is, Knowledge.

It is only Knowledge which can ensure Continuity of Happiness or what I really want.

Knowledge includes, understanding related to:-
Self,
Family,
Society,
Nature